things happen for a reason

Naalala ko noon, nakwento ko na ata ito. Nagkaroon ng vehicular accident ang isang tao. I cleaned her wounds, abrasions and dried blood. She was quite shocked about what had happened. Nung nahimasmasan, nasabi niya na kaya siguro nakaligtas siya sa possible death dahil may mga gagawin pa siguro siya. Sa kakulitan ko, nasabi ko din na worth nga siguro itong pagkasemplang niya. Tiningnan niya ako ng masama at tinanong kung bakit ko naman nasabi yun. Sabi ko kasi sabi niya baka may misyon pa siya sa mundong ito. So okay na iyon.

Later I knew na ang babae pala na iyon ay ala-alalay ng tatay ko, nung bata pa siya. Nadisgrasya din kasi ang tatay ko nung, at nilagyan ng bakal ang paa niya. When he barely do more things, this girl run errands for my dad. The lady was surprised when she knew about this. Then went home after she was discharged.

So what about the darkened line. About a week later, nalaman namin na ang motor na nasemplang niya which was badly wrecked, was withdrawn by the buyer and wants o return it to the distributor. We heard that it can be purchased on our name, siyempre sa mas murang presyo. Kasi kailangan ko ng service papunta sa hospital. Para hindi maabala ang siesta ni tatay. Pinapangako ko sa totoong may-ari ng motor na to na hiniram lang ng babaeng iyon na aalagaan ko ang motor mo.pinsan.hehe

free writing

Medyo pangit ang last 2 weeks ko. But the normal things that I usually do are all the same, no alterations, pare-pareho lang araw-araw. Pinapayat ako ng isang linggong 10-6 shift. Mabuti na lamang wala masyadong ginagawa, mga saksakan lang, disgrasya sa motor at ilang mga panganganak ng mga batang hindi pa dapat manganak. Kahapon, ang last day ng duty ko for this week at mabuti naman wala masyadong problema. Nagkaroon ng bagong nurse, hindi volunteer kasapi ng NARS program ng DOLE, inorient siya at may mga pagkakataong ako din ang nago-orient sa kanya. Magiging Masaya na ngayon kasi may dumagdag sa mga listahan ng mga kikilalanin ko.

Pagkatapos ng duty, niyaya ako ng mga batchmate ko na pumunta sa isang spring resort (malumpati) juts do some bonding. Gusto kong pumunta despite lacking of sleep because I want this kind of socialization. Refreshing the friendship that we have. Some brought great news one has none. He told some not so good realities in his life. But I am glad that he thinks he has moved on.

We don’t need help. Helping someone when you say it’s a Samaritan Help, is not helping to ask for something in return. It is not helping one function perfectly so that you can own it. Hindi naman hinihingi ang tulong mo, bakit mo pinagpipilitang tumulong at our own expense too? And now you are claiming that you have helped?! And parang sa iyo na ang lahat. Letting the people know that everything is because of you. Parang sobra na ata yun. Pero it’s not a surprise knowing you and the folks you have been to.

kristin kreuk naman

mataas siguro ang libido ko.hehe,nanaginip ako that i was with kristin kreuk last night. it's like she's been missing for quite some time yet there is no time for both of us. pero, the details isn't important, it's just that i know how it feels when i was with kristin kreuk..hehe





hindi masyadong toxic sa duty kanina. 3 patients lang naman. then suddenly pag sapit ng 9pm, sunod sunod na ang dating ng mga pasyente. at ang isa ay magiging toxic sana pero hindi na nila tinuloy ang pagpa admit sa hospital.. minsan mahirap isipin na ang personnel has the capabiliy to do the procedures but the hospital requires not to. primary hospital lang kasi.. i understand what the law requires but these people who comes late in the evening would not come if the need for medical help is not urgent. i will just do the best way i can.

batang-bata pa

In a month, it will be our town’s fiesta. And the last time that I joined for this festivity was on 2004. It’s been a while. And now I am bit excited because I want to enjoy what I do most. This afternoon, while the basketball game has its break, I played basketball, slightly concussed my left elbow inward. I brought my bro(youngest) to the plaza to buy some cotton candy and watch the game. For four years I have never tasted a cotton candy. Bought also some of the goods for sale beside the plaza. Silently, I am enjoying this experience because I was brought back to how I was when I was younger.

pang umaga

Another week of duty. Morning shift is quite laborious than any shift in terms of average situations. Getting up early is not a problem anymore even though I only sleep for five hours. Anyway, this week is a family week in the ward. On Wednesday, we have 11 patients that are confined. 5 of them are my relatives. I know that they were because I handled the admission and discharged. A lola, a nephew, and 3 cousins. And on the other day another lola came, and a cousin. Most of them have the same cases which made me wonder.

Each day I learn new things, I re-experience the college duty days. One of the important things that I have to endure is separating family matters from the profession. The experiences that I am having are extraordinary. I assisted in delivery, suture and ivf. All in one week after 2 years of not doing any health related things.

I just wonder how my colleagues could finish in earlier before the shift ends. My work isn’t even greater than theirs yet but I can’t finish it earlier so that I could have time to check for it. But one thing I knew is that I can work faster if I work alone, much less mistakes, and no misunderstanding. But I understand that they are the one who adjust for me, I should. Little by little I’ll learn all of the things I need to know.

When I looked at the mirror this morning i noticed that my abdomen has become smaller and abs can be seen in silhouette. Hehehe. Sa sobrang kain noon lumaki bigla ang tiyan ko. Then when I started working in the hospital, lumiliit na ulit. Kaunting crouches lang, magkakaroon okay na.hehe.

sariwa pa

my full second week and i am on duty in the OPD/ER. my first day was too good for an immediate work out. may vehicular accident. the problem is, this town is just small that everyone knows anyone. raquel, and jennny were my collauges and auntie girlie. these two ladies are vertically challenged persons and it is always the topic for getting fun. anyway. di naman pwedeng sabihin ko isa-isa ang nangyayari sa mga pasyente na pumupunta dito.

one the good things that is happening is that, all of those who seek for medical needs seem to remember me, and others. that when i stroll around, these people would smile at me. syempre ngiti din ako. sabi ko nga, maliit lang ang lugar na ito.

sariwa pa! inakayan ako ng isang balo at tinanong ako kung bakit daw ako gwapo. fresh na resh daw ako. stupid. pag-uwi ko i told my parents what this lady said. then they summarized all the widows in this hospital that i am working with for five days. ang nurse na kasama ko sa ER balo, and babae sa records section ng OPD ay balo, ang sa book keeping, balo, at ang sa administration ay balo.

mabuti na lang, balik na ako sa ward this monday. perhaps the most challenging week for me.

the first five days

after sacrificing my hair and goatie, i started my duty in a gov't hospital here in our town. this town's so small na ang nagorient sa akin at umikot sa akin sa buong hospital is my classmate's mother, introduced me to my ninang, auntie's, uncle's, kuya's and to anyone. i know them all, if not on their names, on their faces. first day,on ward.

i was with other nurses were the three of them are a family, the motehr nurse, the daughter and her husband. nothing hand's on really, but more on orientation, what to do, how to do, when to do, anything, by auntie rufel, auntie chit, nene chirona, jhero, leo, jane, aunti girlie, dr. lovelle, che and auntie sascion(who always starres at me smiling. i want to mention their names because they helped me a lot on my first day. and i was well welcomed because i've got free lunch.hehe

second day, is just like the first day, kept on orientation and familiarization of the routie they have in the ward. tensions between administrators rose up as they send out their sentiments. as well in the third day patient admissions are rising in number

thursday, i was expecting that the admissions will rise.and it did, before the end of my shift, we exceeded the bed capacity. and worst there is only one nurse and i as a volunteer. worst things came to happen by the hour. only 30mins. past 6, there wa a call for an ambulance to transport a vehicular accident patient. and there are 27 patients for only the two of us. i was left in the ward as the other one prepares for the arrival of the VA victim. then the ambulance came, and auntie rufel the nurse called me to help out in cleaning for debris and blood. the extent of the injury and wound is severly unexplainable, i barely know the patient to who he was. later on as i was cleaning, i recognized him and called him by his monicker. nagulat ak, dahil sumagot siya by speaking my nickname, nagulat din ang lahat dahil hindi siya sumasagot ng matino sa mga tanong. this man is a batchmate, a friend at kapamilya din. alam ko na agad kung bakit naaksidente dahil alam ko ang ugali ng tao na iyon. after cleaning, i proceeded to the ward alone with a nurse aide. too many patients, for a 4day older, pero isa-isa lang at nakaraos. tapos na-admit na ang kaibigan ko, i attent to his needs, and did even the aide's job. sabi ko nga mahirap maging nurse sa isang kakilalang malapit. funny was, is that he kept on asking me if he's still conscious or not. the mere questioning is a sign if consciousness na.hehe. the hospital cannot give everything for assurance of recovery, so he was transfered to other hospital.

this day, medyo busy din, dahil from 27 naging almost 30 na..pero maraming umuywi. kaya okay lang, plus madami na kami sa ward.

anyway, i got nothing more to say about my frst five days. only one thing. i noticed a significant reduction in my stomach protruberance. sobrang lumiit. in just 5 days halata agad. dahil siguro wala nakong luxury sa time kapag kumakain at nabago ang eating habbit ko.

good bye - almost perfect hair

umapply ako para magvolunteer last friday and instatnly i am going to start (finally) tomorrow. there are many things that i must sacrifice. luxury in sleep, chat with my tatay, my goatie which helps me look good, hehe. and my hair. sounds nuts but i always make some emphasis throught these. i have to cut now not the usual trim. fortunately, my regular hair stylist wasn't in his parlor until evening. i have moe time to take photos before i change everything. stupid. parang stupid nga na buhok lang to. pero hindi naman tungkol dito ang entry na ito

bukas magsa-start na ako sa monday sa hospital. i am nervous not because it will be my first day, but because the seniors have greater expectations from me than others. but anyway, i can handle everything. i guess.

and lastly, i think i have more to add for this blog because of a widened environment i will be having starting tomorrow.

dior-updated

mahigit isang buwan na akong di nakakapasok sa mundo ng world wide web. madami pa akong sasabihin sa mga darating sa araw. salamat sa pagbisita

thousandier

tumaya ako noong huwebes feb 19 sa malapit na lotto outlet dito sa amin. tinayaan ko ang mga pinili kong mga numbers dahil may mga value ang mga iyon at sa akalang mapapanalo ko ang 288M plus pa lamang noon na jackpot sa 6/49 superlotto. may tinayaan din akong set ng 6 numbers, at isang lucky pick draw. ang lucky lick ay ang LP sa tabi ng VOID ng lotto card. i did not looked what were the lucky pick numbers para may suspense!

that night nanood kami siyempre, sinubaybayan namin si mr. ocampo sa bawat sulputan ng mga bola sa draw machine. tapos, nawalan na ako ng pag-asa sa 288Million dahil wala ang mga tinayaan kong mga numbers sa nabunot.pagkatapos, tiningnan ko na ang lucky pick numbers ko.. sa gulat ko, sumigaw ako ng kaunti.hehe, nakuha ko ang apat na numbers sa draw. kaya mapapanalunan ko ang 1,000 pesos na premyo ko.

kinabukasan kinuha ko agad ang pemyo, at bumili ng kaunting mga gamit. masaya ako dahil nanalo ako kahit na ganito lang. ang problema, di ko alam kung paano ko gagastusin ang napanalunan ko sa worth. ang mabuti, dahil kung napanalunan ko ang 288million, mas malaking problema yun. pero alam ko na defense mechanism ko lang to dahil i almost made it. pero i am happy, dahil may merienda na kami. i cooked pancit for us.hehe.

para kay Kim Chiu

Alam mo ba napanaginipan kita? At hindi lang sa unang pagkakataon, ngayon, pangalawang beses na. Ang una ay noong October pa last year. Sa panaginip ko, lumapit ka sa akin, tinabihan ako at hinalikan mo ako sa labi. Parang totoo! At kapanipaniwala dahil pagmulat ko, parang hinalikan mo nga talaga ako. Nakakatuwa dahil naramdaman ko ang pakiramdam na hinalikan ng isang Kim Chiu. Kinuwento ko agad iyon sa tsokolate ko. Mabuti nama’t hindi nagselos. Pagkatapos ngayon lang ay nagkita ulit tayo sa aking panaginip.

Habang naglalakad ako, nakita kita na kumakanta sa stage para sa mga manonood mo. Pagkatapos may lumapit sa iyo na babae at pinagalitan ka. Bumaba ka at umalis mag-isa. Pagkatapos, bigla na lang may humawak sa braso ko at ikaw pala iyon. Tinanong kita kung san mo gusto pumunta.(ewan ko kung bakit ‘di ko naitanong kung bakit). Sabi mo sa palengke. Ngkataon naman na wala masyadong tao kaya tahimik lang ang palengke habang ang hawak mo sa braso ko ay nandoon pa rin. Sabi ko ang dumi dito, doon tayo sa mall, sabi mo ayaw mo sa madaming tao. Pagkatapos, niyakap mo ako. At naglakad patungong simbahan. Habang ngalalakad, nasabi ko na thank you dahil napagbigyan mo ako. Batid ko kasi na hindi naman ito totoo. Ngumiti ka lang sa akin. Pagdating sa simbahan, pinagalitan ka ulit ng babaeng nagalit sa iyo kanina habang kumakanta ka. Kung saan ka daw nagpupupunta. May patay sa simbahan na inaalalayan ng misa. Kinuha ka ng babae na iyon at may biglang tumawag sa akin sa cell phone ko. Sasagutin ko na sana, pero nang pindutin ko na ang answer button, nagising na ako.

Nakakatuwa na mapanaginipan kita dahil, hindi naman kita nakita sa tv, o kahit sa commercial nung araw na iyon. Di naman kita iniisip, o inaasam. Bakit ikaw ang nagpakita sa panaginip ko ng dalawang beses? Malamang ako din ang nakita mo sa panaginip mo, pag nabasa mo ito, at pareho ang mga panaginip natin. Mag iwan ka ng message sa chat box ko. Good luck sa career kim.

when OC hits out

The Calbangan Road Project

Calbangan is a compound along the street. Literally Calbangan is a place surrounded by water. Our compound where siblings and their grandchildren is the real Calbangan, in front is a seemingly clean creek, and at the back are rice fields but in between is a creek also. These two creeks came from one source, seperated and enclosed Calbangan and then rejoined basically it’s like an island. Everyone on this small island is a relative, second cousins are the most distant relatives who lives here

But this entry is not all about Calbangan. Two weeks before Feb. 15 the plan to at least rehabilitate the road along Calbangan was thought about. Sabi ko, graduate na ako, propesyonal na, but still this road has not change. The road along our place is half cemented half dirt. Pero and sementadong daan ay may lubak-lubak pa rin. So, I planned to fill in the potholes all through out. After asking my parents' advice to how I am going to do this, inviting mga tambay na mga kaibigan to join me on this, and looking for a near perfect soil for longer effects, okay na ang lahat. It was planned for the Valentine’s Day, but moved to Sunday, Feb. 15.

Informing Local officials about our plan, we were good to commence. We pushed our 7-footer cart mountain ward to get pebble-soil in the river bank. I already asked permission on officials on that place so that we could get soil on their river. Good thing they were pleased because we have the same road from our homes to the town proper. I have six people helping me out together two of them are my brothers. As we are working on streets four more helped and told me how come they were not informed. It was fun, but helpful. At the end of the project is of course a little merienda. It was a very tiring day! Knowing that I slept at 4 am on that day and had only 4 hours of sleep because I have to go to church to cleanse my spirit and to clear my mind.

Pero umulan ng sobrang lakas kinagabihan at kinakabahan ako baka nasira na ng ulan ang mga lupa na tinambak namin. I kept my prayers and fortunately the next day, the rain did not destroy our work but it even helped because it compressed the soil in to firmness. and driving isn't too rough anymore.hehe

v-day 09

I realized that when I am in rage I feel like I want to do an entry about my outrage of course. But, besides that I think I am more articulate using the English vocabulary during this state. Why? Because it’s Valentine’s Day!!

Since memory, I usually celebrate the Valentines Day with a birthday song because it is my brother’s birthday. But I never celebrate because of love. I think there was a day I did celebrate with an eyed one, but it was just a pure obligation to create one. But it doesn’t mean I have an iron casted heart, actually it is the opposite…rusted (huh?!) I commenced Valentine’s after the day itself. But I really can’t remember a day that I have the v-day with a special one even until now.

Every year is all the same. Loathe, wrath, stupidity anything but not good. This day, I am happy because my parents attend a Valentine’s Night Party and until now they are not home yet. It is already 12 o’clock am (5am na sila nakauwi)

This day I spent my day thinking how to fix things, how to start, where to start. First, where will I get enough amount of gravel to fill the potholes on our politically-abandoned-unpaved street. How will I cut pork and liver for batchoy as my bro’s request for his birthday. How to divide the house and know where to start working. Well, I started in the kitchen and it was an entire day fixing things, satisfying my OC behavior.

So what’s so bad about those things? Nothing. It is only that of all the days in a year, this day is the worst one since the discovery that a sayote has to be depulped before peeling and slicing them. My white T-shirt has not been washed even it is already in the hamper for days! And it doesn’t mean that if ironing is not needed, I don’t want it hot pressed anywore! T-shirt are on its superb comfort when worn, if they come without telling what to do with it. If it’s not ironed it’s fine, if it is ironed then I’ll be more pleased.
Anyway, I will be posting this later, but Happy Valentines to all of you…

55km worth bread

Si kuya arden na pinsan ko ay nagbakasyon dito from manila. Babalik na siya ulit to work in four days. I asked him kung pwede magpadala sa kanya pagbalik niya. Siyempre okay daw. But I plan to buy Tibiao Bakery products. But there is none around or in other places near. He told me that why don’t we visit the original bakery instead. I asked him if he’s serious and he was indeed serious. So we prepared for the next day. The Town of Tibiao is three towns away and it will be impractical to drive all the way there for bread. but we did

Esau another cousin seated on the back seat of the motorcycle iwas driving. While Arden is in his motorcycle. It was bit rainy that day but we still went on. We stopped over Sebaste a town near ours. Besperas ng piyesta nila kaya kami dumaan. Said some prayers and bought some brown sugar candies. As we drove along the festive road, we passed by parades of high school batches. We jokingly joined the parade as if we are one of them. What the heck they would recognize us because we were on our helmets.

We finally arrived in the town of Tibiao. Tahimik na bayan, we looked for the bakery and at last found it. I gauged the distance meter, and Tibiao from Pandan is 55kilometers. We drove 55kms. for a bag full of different kinds of breads. And siyempre biscocho ang hindi dapat mawala dahil it was what we came for..We ate some, I took some photos and went home. but sopped over a restaurant besides the beach

Astig na trip ang ginawa namin dahil sa layo ng pinuntahan namin para sa tinapay. Pero ang pagbibigyan naman is di basta-basta kaya worth it.

il-ilo, finally!

Finally I have been in ilo-ilo. But it was not that all good because I was there to be with my grandfather on respirator. But my cousins did not make me left ilo-ilo without experiencing some of it. Una, it was dinagyang season. So the city is in festive spirit. On my first whole day in this province, my parents left me in the hospital because they have to go home for my brothers are at home. Then my uncle Mike, told me that he’ll bring me around the city (technically the hospital where I stayed is not located on the city of ilo-ilo, just outside the city). We rode the jeep, toured around. He brought me to the public market, the fish port and we walked around the market area early in the morning. Around 8am, the air was so cold even on daylight. As we walked, he tried to recall his experience here, like, where he usually hang out, where the syndicated groups used to hide, and more. Then we looked for something to eat at the market. Uncle Mike wanted to eat bangus, and as we passed by series of turo-turo, he stopped at a certain eatery and instantly walked inside. Why? It is not because he used to eat on that place but there were two seemingly beautiful ladies, the other one in short shorts, and the one was wearing her uniform, parang PT or Med tech definitely not nursing.

What is unusual for me but natural for my tatay Mike is that there were three tables on that eatery, with only two lady costumers on one same table. We seated at the same table were the ladies where. They were talking vulgarly in ilonggo and I know tatay Mike was listening so was i. anyway, details isn’t necessary, it was just funny because we did not eat well dahil siguro nawili kami sa pakikinig sa kanila.hehe

Then, he made me ride the padyak and strolled around the city. We bought fruits and vegetable seeds, along the way people that we passed by greeted him. They shook hands, after that I would ask him if he knew that man, sabi niya hindi! Hehe, stupid. The first SM in this city, he said was his vegetable garden before as we were eating batchoy in front of SM. We ate a lot that time. It was fun.

Nene Kristel, a cousin, is working in McDo. When I visited her, I was already full after eating chicken inasal. It was unusual because I didn’t have to go to the counter to make orders, instead may ready na para sa akin. She then brought me on night hang outs. The place we went in to was quite good plus it was chilling cold that night. In there one of her crew in McDonalds has a gig and she would sing songs and dedicated a coupe for me.naks. It was fun too.

The next day, my last day, because I thought my lolo is getting better from his PCP Pneumonia, Manong Shun, a cousin also toured me around to his place to where he attended school and best food restaurants. We ate on a barbeque park. I went home asking permission to lolo, but he did not respond. Before leaving I was planning to go back to be with him again, but I was late. It’s sad because I left him in recovering condition, but he was not.

A peaceful journey lolo.

lolo bes

It’s been a while since the last entry. I thought I could update this blog at least thrice a week but i just could not. But there are reasons why, and I thought about this quite some time if I have to put an entry about it. So far it is the reason that this made this blog idle. But i have to tell this to you, because it is like a turning point in my life's story.

My lolo passed away. 28 days after he told me that life and death is now playing in his mind. He told me that he does not want to sleep because he might die. That if he thinks that he'll die it would happen, that's why he always thinks that he'll stay alive the next day. I just told him that if he thinks that death is in his thoughts, he must get rid of it and start doing things he wants most before it's too late. i don't really think he's seriously ill because I’ve know him as too young, too strong, too alert, too healthy for his age (91 years old). That talk lasted an hour or a bit more.

4 days after i left him for while in the hospital to get some things at home. And an hour after i bit my lip and bleeded.

he's like my first patient in my profession that is why it is the hardest. I can say that the patient a nurse don't want to take care of is one of his own family member especially in a very critical state. You know everything, that even the explanation of a doctor is not convincing to calm you down.

So if Arden rod has an entry for him, i also have one for our lolo.

To lolo, after you left I started to hate myself because I can count the memorable days that we had. all I can remember is that i hug you during siesta so that I could feel that you have awaken up and would go somewhere to play mahjong or go farming. That I always have boxes of cheese when you come home every weekend from your work other place. Kahit hindi tayo masyadong naging malapit in anyways you are still my lolo.

My lolo also explained to me that one reason why the Americans do not passed the Veterans Equity bill yet is because of the Filipinos also. That some guerillas that time were asked to fill up the form to be filed for U.S Army, sold some of the forms to non-guerillas because of the expected benefits. When given to the Americans they were surprised how did the list got too many guerillas. And one of the opportunists that time has his descendants doing the same until now. Corrupt, bragging their power and properties that came from their overpowering and plunder. Who would have thought that a 90-year old can still ride a tricycle and go to church, to market, or to look for a mahjong game? that can read the marquee's in television without reading glasses. Sometimes I envy him because he had done a lot of things...like:

-fishing on laguna de bay
-teaching reproductive health to communities in his time, it is very hard to become an effective teacher.
-going back to ilo-ilo from manila three days before leaving for New York just to see his girlfriend.
-California to New York by train?
-naabutan pa ang UP manila?
-putting js prom in our school (thank you!)
-have his birth certificate for civil service changed his age 5 years younger?


I have little memories from you lolo, but I am so proud of you. remember the time you told me that before you were somebody but now you are nobody? Your worth is unthinkable. And I cannot believe that I cried a lot for him unlike to lola. But I realized when I asked myself why is that I cried, it is because everyone is crying. I cried because I hate my own father because I thought he was rock hearted. That when I saw him cry, I felt happiness because finally he had forgave his father. He does not listen to us and to me when we talk about reconciling kahit kay lolo lang, but he did not. I know my father and if is reluctant about this kind of topic, it is very hard for him inside. So I cried a lot for my father who let it out finally.

Lolo, don’t worry, in failures and success of my parents and brothers, you are always a part of us. I promise to fulfill your will ever since, to clean the politicians corruption and restore order in governance in our locality, and spread the ever growing family tree.i know that 5 of us siblings are the ones who will only carry our last name. Hehe (but seriously, i will)

retrip.

i have to do stretching again

it's a long weekend and my brother brought his friends for a visit, adventure and maybe just to spend the holliday in our place. my father, bossing(our school boy) and i were a kind busy preparing things for the visitors. although it is a rainny weekend they pushed all of their planned activities and enjoyed it.

the lat part of their plan (actually, it's my plan) is climbing the mountain and see the waterfalls again where i've enjoyed 8 months ago. early that morning, it rained so hard that i feel that we could not go. but all of us want to climb up. we invited a japanese visitor to come but she said she can't go. it's a bit discouraging since i plan to give this adventure trip to the japanese as my gift to her on her birthday that the same day.

halfway through the spot. we saw a snake couple obviously on their mating mode. medyo malaki ang dalawang ahas and i think it's venomous. but the dog came close to the snake couple to check them out. yes, we bring a dog along. his name is rafa, sabi ng may ari, half poddle, half shitsu daw siya.so that makes him a "poshit" (corny). some of my brothers friends were forestry students so they study the trees they see as well.

i think they are really amazed seeing the magnificent waterfalls. our food is amazing too. and we cooked it ther. sticks of chiken meat for inasal and liempo. we hid the grill underneath the rocks because itw as raining hard that time. i slipped several times on mossed rocks while getting banana leaves for serving the food. my younger brothers slipped as well.

paguwi namin, bihis and went to the 23 year old japanese birthday. nung dumating ako doon, the hapon was already drunk and she said that she has already 40% alcohol in her blood stream after drinking cognac. damn, 40%?!!(i multi dose liveraide na yan).

it was a tiring day and i never smiled the whole night. i am angry to everything that goes not on my way.
still it was a nice day thought. i only suffered some muscle pains the next day.

pump this out

have you ever applied the worn out phrase "my adrenaline is pumpin!"? have you ever felt your blood pushing you arteries even you capillaries agains their walls? making your heart beats not only faster but harder. making you gasping for more air, making your brain focus only on one thing. which creates signal on enzyme and horone secreting glands to satisfy the pressure behind every cell on you body system. and your only relief is vague loneliness(for some time), or in a one side of the mountain facing the the other mountain, or in a crowd like patrons of Jesus of Nazarene?

well,i have. and the weird solution for this breathing deeply in rhythm with your heart, and shouting. lastly, during thinking about these things i realized that when one of your human system is not doing well what you feel might not wholly change. at least your are still intact with your beliefs. but when you let your emotions fell shatter you, one or all of your physical body will be affected.


non sense, i just want to shout out the stain and breath in the smell of the fabric conditioner. bleaching is not needed

it's my "first" godchild's first birthday

birthday ni zarina ann today. and i am scheduled to attend her first birthday. ann is my first-willingly-invited-and-written godfather. but i went there also because she's my neice. my first present fo her are the siopaos that my father and i made. before leaving for kalibo i really don't know what occassion i will join to. the immediate burial of my grandfather's brother? or my neice's birthday? but my father ask me to proceed to kalibo with siopaos because they will represent the family in the burial.

so, i joined my uncle with his friends for an hour ride to kalibo. i seated on the back seat facing the back literally with no roof on the pick-up. it's raining at that time. so i sat facing back, placed my red,white,blue,yellow gola shoes up on the rail and waved to anyone i saw looking at us. sometimes my shoes do the waving too. i waved to people at the further back of the funeral convoy, to a group of road fixers working on a rip rap at the edge of the cliff, to men stopping by to leak on the side of the road, to extracullicular-students who eagerly go to school even on weekends beause, there will be no class only chatting, and they don't have to wear their uniforms. if they did not notice me waving i would wistle.

the party ended good enough. but attention hunting was much more fun when i we were on the back of the truck doing anything to people we passed by with no embarrasments because they don't have any clue who we are.


t-shirt got wet and i was seen through it

meron ka ba nito?

my nanay is a member of an organization which has its main partners in Japan. every year the Japanese org. would send Japanese volunteers to mingle with people here in our town. they would ruin our family traditions every Christmas and New year because they like staying on another family's house. but i have nothing against them. my brothers always go with them and they are enjoying as well as the visitors when they go anywhere. i really don't mind them taking off my mother's time on holiday seasons because my nanay don't want me to remind it to her. fortunately, these japanese can't communicate well in english so i feel not too obliged to attend to them. until, a japanese who came for a really long stay(2months) here who knows how to speak english, a bit tagalog and a bit russian.

one day, her foster handler here in our town asked me to help her translate the books to our vernacular. the books will be donated for the children in schools and it is in Japanese. so the japanese came into our house while i was on a nap during siesta. i told her that in order for us to finish early because i am going somewhere else, we'll do these and that.

i'm passionate with my curiousity. so i asked her a lot of things while working. like

- do you have "aswang" and kapres and drafs in Japan? - no
- do you have rebels or terrorists in Japan? - yes, but no guns
- have you been to North Korea? - no, ma-hi-rap
- do you know the asian tv show Meteor Garden? - no
- why are all of your things in color pink? i don't know, it's recomended.
- why do you pronounce "L" to "R"? - we don't have "L" sound
- do you have japan version of Big Brother? - no i don't know Big Brother

i don't know why am i telling this to you, blog. i hate lapses on a conversation so i filled the gap with these questions. and it's quite amazing to have a friend who ncan't reache my shoulder when she stands straight.kidding. for years that these people meddle in our lives as we benifit from them for under priviledge, this is the first time that i "voluntarily" join them because she can understand better than others. only englis is the key.



shirt can not stained

okay na naman kami ngayon

sino ba ang taong gustong may kaaway? kung meron man, alam kong hindi niya gusto iyon, maliban na lamang kung saksakan ng sama ang ugali ng isang tao para karapatdatpat na bigyan ng leksiyon.

minsan, may pinuntahan kaming spring resort. pumunta kami doon kasi alam naming wala masyadong tao. npagdating namin sa lugar na iyon, nakita ko ang dating pulitko na kinalakihan kong batiin lagi. sa di malamang dahilan ilang beses ko siyang binati ng harap-harapan hindi niya sinasagot ang mga tanong ko at kung ano pa man. buti na lamang may mga sumasagot na kasama ko kaya hindi ako masyado napahiya. pero, ang mga bagay na ganito ay hindi nagpapabuti ng damdamin ko. dahil araw-araw kong ginagawa na ngumiti sa bawat tao na makikita ko. hindi ako mapakali dahil hindi ko mapagtanto ang dahilan kung bakit? sinabi ko iyon sa mga kasam ko, sabi nila, wag ko na lang pansinin. tama sila. pero hindi ako ganoon.

pag-uwi ko sa bahay, iniisip ko kung ano ang mga dahilan kung bakit hindi na ako pinapansin ng tao na iyon. siguro, dahil, hindi na siya pulitiko at ako ganun pa din? dahil, alam kong may kinurakot siyang pera na walang transparency kung saan napunta? dahil straight forward ang tatay ko kung ayaw niya sa isang tao, sasabihin niya sa iyo iyon at damay ako? dahil ginawa naming biro ang campaign jingle niya at narinig niya iyon? damn, sa bandang huli, naisip ko na , e, ano ngayon kung ganun siya? hindi ako yayaman sa ginagawa niya. anyway, ginamit lang naman niya ang tiwala ng tao sa kanya para gawin ang personal niyang mga plano.

pero since last year pa ginawa ang entry na ito hindi lang naipost. okay na ako ngayon..

D.O.W

naalala ko noon habang nasa jeep ako papunta kung saan-saan ay may sumakay na tatlong matatandang babae na lampas sixty years old na.

ang isa sa tatlong matanda ay tumingin sa katabi ko na isang lalaki at tinitingnan niya ito mula ulo hanggang paa, paa hanggang ulo tapos napapangiti. dahil naka salamin ako na itim hindi mapapansin na nakatingin ako sa mga modernong matatanda. bumayad ang isa sa kanila ng pamasahe:

matanda: eto ang bayad namin (inabot ang isandaang piso)
drayber: ilan po 'tong isang daan?
matanda: tatlong .....
drayber: senyor? i know! (sabay ngiti ng bawat pasahero)

bumaba ang tatlong matanda sa jeep.dahil nga hindi naman sila gaya noong sila ay nasa kabataan pa nila. ginawang pantukod ng matandang tumititingin kanina ang tuhod ng lalaking katabi ko.

dirty old women!