welcome back ayi- plus "the edna's thanks party plus kitakits

i was in Laguna yesterday. may paparty kasi si ednalyn dahil pumasa siya. despite the distance(yeah), pumunta ako kasi i want to see good old friends too maliban sa food gusto ko din makita ang folks ni edna. i was the first guest there. then came another edna's friend and we were the first to eat. then came, the rest of the people. si kate, na nakita ko na straight ang buhok for the first time on her broad shoulders.. glenn, si kuya glenn i teased. na joker pa din, then came jd, na katerno ang table cloth sa occassion. patre a not so friend friend, and later, si april which made me laughed sarcastically when her tummy camed out. and lastly, sina arvie, ang tanging may trabaho sa mga tao dun, and si ayi, who just came from the U.S.. i missed everyone. masaya, we sang, drunk a bit of alcohol, and ate a lot. a lot. came in late at night nagsiuwian na..natulog na din ako
early in the morning ginising ako ni wyeth, ang cute nephew ni edna nagulat ako kasi ginising ako. i suddenly missed my brothers when he asked me to watch him play his psp. nakakatuwa, he sat beside me while i was still lying. he thought that i couldn't watch him playing, humiga siya sa tiyan ko. natutuwa ako, para akong daddy, i was dearly touched by a 5 year old who barely knows me
dumaan akong perps, missed it kahit papaano, then uwi na ako qc. mahabang biyahe, pero i was satisfied. the only problem today is that i am so damn, lonely. i feel alone, i feel incomplete, i need something, or someone. damn it. damn this

earth hour - my moment hour

while cooking for dinner, naalala ko na on the night of march 29th, at 8pm, is time for the earth"s favor to come in. we turned off our lights kahit lights lang ang hinihingi, we also including the tv set. only a radio and a fan were running. it was quite a nice night, cooking without light(almost done din naman), bathing without light. i have realized many things on a quite 1 hour of that night. it helped me feel a little at ease because i knew that i helped. i helped to lessen the earth's problem, even if i can't do the same to mine. narealize ko din that what my mother does for preserving nature makes her feel this way. the way i felt. masaya. fullfilling. i hope lahat ng tao sa mundo, aware na sa lahat. that a traditional burning of dried leaves to smoke a tree is considered not good today. that if we thought that; why the heck are we doing this since others don't really mind to do, should be reversed. masarap tumira kasama ng kalikasan. nararanasan ko yun. that is why i still want to live in the province. unlike in the city. in our place i am not afraid to breathe in deeply beacuse i know that the air i breathe is cleaner than to my thoughts.

gusto mong magkape?

yesterday, i was surprised by a text message from a former classmate. she asked me if i am in laguna because she wants to invite me for a coffee. i was really surprised dahil if someone might invite me for a coffee joan will be least likely to invite me. i was touch. yeah touch ako. hmmm, napilitan akong maginternet dahil someone asked me about an international artist's name on a movie. nakalimutan ko ang name kaya naginternet pa ako. nahanap ko na. her name is Sophia Myles.

mga munting istorya na lahat magaganda

isang araw, bigla akong nairita dahil binara ako ng isang tao dahil concern lang ako... so, to at least contain my temper only to myself without letting her(them) know (na alam na siguro), i planned to visit laguna. it was possible the next day. pumunta akong laguna ulit. i was able to have my lunch with ate. pinagbigyan ako sa little favor na hiningi ko. i was really glad. ang tagal nga lang dumating. i was running out of sugar, nanginginig na sa gutom, pero dumating naman.. nakakagulat na entrance sa jollibee(i am always surprised). she didn't know that a gay was staring at me a lot of times before she arrived. a little limited conversation. i teased ate to watch the movie "supahpapalicious" but i think she will not still watch it kahit libre ko na ang lahat.it was an amazing starving afternoon.. then i headed back to the real home. my new cousin was there, so tiny and delicate. i like kids, but i son't trust myself on handling infants. natatakot ako. i fixed some things for two days until i was satisfied that the house looks fine and in order again.
bakit ganun, lagi na lang ako pinapansin ng mga bading, hindi ng mga babae..hehe. kasi inayos ko ang motorcycle ng tito ko, so i went to a cycle parts store. two gays were there, nagpapaayos ng motor nila, when i bought a tube for the tire replacement and looked for a vulcanizing shop. i found one and coincidentally, ryan, who also have his car repaired there. we talked for a while when the "vulcanator" said that the tire i bought will not fit my tire. so i went back again to the store, the lady gave me another size of tube then before i left these two gays asked my name, so sinabi ko ang name ko. i don't want to be rude just because they are gays. but, the replacement i bought didn't fit again, so i went back to the store and the gays laughed and started to ask where i live. i said "malayo", then left. at the shop, upon giving the "vulcanator" the tube i told him na " kuya, kapag mali pa yang gulong na yan, malalaman na ng mga bakla ang number ko" ryan just laughed. so okay na iyon at last.
the next day, hatid sundo ko ang mga pinsan ko to their school. too bad, the day was extremely hotter than me, nangitim pa ako lalo. i went back to quezon city after i heard from the news that pacquiao's motorcade has passed buendia ang quirino. i dropped by ayala and made my self exercised my legs by strolling down at sm and glorietta. on my way home, i don't know what kind of approach will i make. i am still a bit disappointed. but my nickname is really who i am. it was okay afterall in the apartment. again, i looked like mario the plumber in this apartment. the sink was clogged again(di ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ng bumara ang lababo) and my slight obsessive-compulsive behavior made me idle all day. i've done almost nothing. nanghihina ako kapag may masisirang routine sa araw-araw kong ginagawa.
last night i was on a temporary ecstasy. an estimated 6 hour only baguio visit..pero ang pangit, it was a blighted baguio trip. sasama sana ako sa kasama ko sa bahay, except for so many reasons why i shouldn't be. i like to go, after she invited me if i want to go with her. inside, i would like to. but i ellicited some words of not wanting to go, to analyze the "invitor's" opinion. but, considering my boundaries, i made some parameters on going or not going. and the next events says, i will not go. ironically, it was damn hot last night. kahit industrial fan ang meron sa room namin, ang init pa din. siguro it was just a psyshological reaction of the blighted baguio trip. but, because of that, i was able to finish the "dexter" series. something about killings and more on witty analizations.
naku ang haba na, just made a tuna sandwich for merienda kanina. it was amazing, dahil this is my first time to make one. hala, nawili ako, i have to make viand for dinner pa. magugutom na si jackie.haha. kaya eto lang muna for this day. siguro this is enough to fill in my days of being unupdated.

the oathtaking day-and other side stories

ang pinakakahintay na araw ay dumating na. the oath taking day, mahaba ang biyahe from qc to pasay. when i first saw the smx convention center just beside mall of asia, i was really amazed. ang laki, and it is wide. it is a modern gathering center. ang daming tao din. nagulat ako nung may lumapit sa akin na babae and pinned a ribbon on me, she told me that those were for pictures. kukunan daw kami ng official photographer ng prc. i asked kung may bayad, siympre meron daw. and i replied "kung may bayad, siyempre ayaw ko" tinanggakl niya ang ribbon. daming nakawhite. i looked for dmay, then it was wonderful again. nakapgausap na ulit kami after a long time. then, kinausap namin ang mga seat mates namin para di sana boring. but it turned out that they were more noisy than us, kaya parang hindi ako masyadong nakinig sa mga sinasabi ng mga speakers sa ceremony. dmay and i call ourselves soulmates. kasi we were together on everything we surpassed of failed to do. from la salle to perpetual, to nle, to oathtaking.. sa paguwi namin, nakita ko si keo na ntakot bigla ng hinila ko siya. i figured out that he was suddenly firghtened dahil nagkaroon ng resistance when i dragged him..nakakatawang tingnan ang mukha ng danggago..

talk anytime - a sun cellular unlimited call and text for a period of time

on an unxpected travel to ryan's house for a little get together basketball in Cavite, i was with a middle-aged woman on my side. then may tinawagan siya stating something about debts. hindi ako tsismoso but my ears are really sensitive so i got to remember what she said. ang sabi niya, she needs the money na pinahiram niya sa taong kausap niya. that di niya pupuntahan ang lugar ng kausap niya kung di dahil sa pera. ayaw niyang mabigo, na pinagkatiwalaan niya ang kausap niya kaya siya pinautang. sa flow ng conversation, sinabi ata ng kausap niya na tatawag na lang siya ulit baka maubos na ang load ng katabi ko, pero ang nainingil said na okay lang dahil, naka "sun" naman sila, unlicall naman, kaya walang problema. it seemed that the kausap ran out of reasons not to call again because the woman has a sun cellulat phone as her service provider.

this was one of the extremely useful benefits that an unlimited call can do. you are compromised to say yes when you really want to say no.

rerrouting...

on my way to ryan's house, i was in a little eagerness to do something out of longingness. bumaba ako sa isang public place, then change my route to somewhere i used to go late in the evening. i brought something that later on wasn't able to give. dahil i was reminded by own self to know my limitations. siguro di ko dapat sinasabi to, pero this is my blog, my other container for overflowing anything from my subconscious. it was still a nice meeting.

the "meet the spartans" day

alam ko na sa march 12 ipapalabas na ang movie na ito. matagal ko ng inantay na mapanood to. di ko lang alam kung sino ang sasama sa akin. my cousin has already watched the movie for free, pa. after partially cleaned the house, there was nothing to do already. "boring" sabi ng kasama ko. kung ako lang, i am not bored, dahil madami naman pwedeng gawin. kaya, pagkatapos marinig ng ilang beses ang salitang "boring" tinapon ang kape sa sahig, at medyo nainsulto ( dahil parang ibig sabihin pati ako ay boring), going out was one of the safest way to do to alleviate boredom, and preserve the civil relationship. pero it wasn't easy. maniwala ka.
from start to end ng movie, tawa ako ng tawa. iba't-ibang uri ng tawa. pilit, natural, pigil, hagikhik, iba iba. kasi naman ang kasama ko, masyadong sentsitive sa mga reactions ko. kasi ganun din ako. kaya may mga pacute na tawa.haha. literally tawa ako ng tawa. lalo na sa blue frame, and sa dance showdown. di ko kasi maisip halimbawa na ganun nga talaga ang mga warriors. plus ang compltely opposite way of greeting a person. the way they walk, of march. lahat. dagdagan pa ng obnoxious na ill-mannered- na nanonood sa likod namin.
sabi ng kasama ko, masakit daw ang panga niya sa kakatawa. sinabi ko na lang na kasalanan niya. di kasi tumatawa lagi, kaya nanibago ang jaw muslces. ako kinabag sa sobrang tawa. puro tawanan, minsan lang to. niliubos ko na. masaya ang kabuuan ng araw kahit ang simula naman ng araw na sumunod ay literal na kabaliktaran..

inantay ko ang araw na ito. kasi sasabihin ko na ang di ko na kayang itago pa. one of the reasons why i acquire a blog account is for me to say everything specially those things i know i should not be telling anyone personally. since yesterday, gustong-gusto ko ng ilagay sa blog na 'to ang mga gusto kong sabihin. pero aside from it, may mga bagay at events din na mga nangyari. like nagkita na kami ng bestfriend kong si jha, for quite almost a year without seeing her, sobrang namiss ko siya. finally nagkita nga kami. for alittle time nawala kunti ang pagkamiss ko. but i know we have to see each other more often kasi madami pa kaming paguusapan. this is so far the best day since i have been here 9days ago.
so here i am again, sa real deal. medyo mahaba ang kwento na ito. and alam ko na kung sino man ang makakabasa nito might laugh at me. like my pinsan. pero yun, it was only yesterday na hindi ko na kinayang icontain ang nasa isip ko. the one that keeps me stressed out, ang nagpapayat sa akin, ang nagpapangit sa akin. ang reason din why i am having nightmares that happens frequently than before the one that bothers me a lot. more bother some than waiting the nle board result. ang dahilan din kung bakit lahat ng kantang naririnig ko laging sa dahilan na ito ako dinadala. "you're so close, but still a world away" sabi sa kanta ni madonna. kahit you view the phrase literally or figuratively o kahit ano pa, it still fits. i, myself didn't expect that i'll be haunted by my "what if's". after graduating, i vowed that i will answer all my what if's so that on the right time, i will have no regrets or panghihinyangan. ang totoo i am never fixed on my emotions. wala din akong concrete aim kung bakit ko to ipa-publish. gusto ko lang sabihin na sinusubukan na naman ako ng pagkakataon. ang hirap sa sitwasyon na ganito. gusto kong sumigaw na nagiging mahalaga na ang taong hindi ko dapat pahalagahan ng ganito. ayoko talagang natutulala dahil lang sa ganito.
may mga bagay na dapat hayaan na lang talaga na ganun. i feel like i not ready yet. i need to see her again para masasabi ko ang halos lahat. hmm, mukhang sobra na itong sinasabi ko. basta, salamat sa blog na ito. kung wala to, siguro, mamamatay na ako sa bangungot dahil sa katatago ng mga bagay, ng nararamdaman. gusto ko lang ilabas ang iba kasi di ko kayang itago ang lahat. salamat blog ha?
this sensless pero sometimes something like having this stupid idea of publishing craziness helps me a lot. lalo na kung mababasa niya ito. pero i think you don't know kung sino to. but thank you for reading.

and if you know the direct english translation ng "sayang" please let me know.thanks

the post waterfalls adventure (mga rason kaya nagawa ang trek na to)

medyo mahaba ang story about the post waterfalls event.. pero i am still eager to share these;

- madulas ang daan pauwi. we went home following the river's flow. mabato, madulas, i was holding a camera, anticipating any slip offs, di ko mabilang ang times na nadulas ako, kasi di ko tinanggal ang tsinelas ko. i sacrificed ang mga body parts ko wag ang masira ang camera. parang pag-ibig. huh?

- ala tarzan. while tracking down the river to the nearest barrio. we found a a "baging" . matibay yun, tapos makapal, parang 3inches in diameter. isa isang akyatan dun. i took photos, gaya ng nasa friendster ko. nakakatakot lang na umakyat pa much higher dahil pag nahulog ka, lagot ako.

- di siya nagiisa. dahil first time ko na umuwi via the river. nalaman ko na ang waterfalls isn't the only main sourxe of the water in the river(?) kasi isang stream lang ang talon, it is not the main supplier of water.

- i am with 12 high school students. lahat magkaklase. imagine, may pasok pa sila, 12 na estudyante ang umabsent. that is too unbelievable kung concidence lang na umabsent sila at same time. problem is, the nect day, pinagalitan daw sila, and were asked to call their parents.

- the next day. ang sakit ng lahat ng anterior leg muscles ko. from the rectus femoris to the sartorius. still satisfied.

the second nature revist

ain't mountain high - ain't no river wide enough (ang waterfalls visit of satisfaction)

uumuulan ng almost three weeks sa probinsya and two days na lamang ang natitirang araw bago ako umalis for Manila. medyo desperate na ako and dapat mapupuntahan ko ang Abilinan Falls before i left our place. i have a pseudo-brother whom i know really likes mountain trekking kaya, niyaya ko siya. i told him to bring along some friends. aakyat kami ng bundok umulan man o bumagyo. the next day, nung umuwi siya galing school, he told me na may mga niyaya daw siya. sabi ko, malakas ang ulan kagabi and until now, umuulan pa din. i thought he was bluffing that 15 of his friends were all willing to come. hala, nagulat ako, kasi alam ko walang magseseryoso na umakyat na ng bundok dahil malakas ang ulan. malambot ang lupa, madulas at baka malalim ang tubig sa ilog.
pero at one o'clock, nasidatingan ang mga estidyante na nakaunigorm pa sa bahay at handa ng umalis. nagult ako and asked them if they are serious, sabi nila oo. i was thrilled, masaya, nakakakaba. we headed to the mountain, crossed two bridges and hike all the way to the top. umaambom. noong nandun na kami sa malapit, we have to slide down the cliff to reach the waterfalls. kasi it is located on the mountain edge, kung gaano kataas ang bundok, so is the waterfalls. i was thrilled again, as well as my companions na bago lang doon. i have visited this place twice but not this desperate. dumating kami sa talon sa taas na bahagi, walang malalanguyan dun kasi ang river bed ay bato. so pagkatapos nagslide pababa, nagslide ulit kami pababa kung saan merong paglalanguyan. it is enourmously high kasi dalawang talon na pinatong sa isa pang falls. kaya dalawang fallses(?)
tumalon sa mga bato, picture-picture, kahit umaabon. my plan before going there was to take photos of me on a semi kung fu training commonly seen on tv. pero di ko magawa iyon sa lower falls kasi malalim ang tubig. kaya while theye were swimming, umakyat ako sa first falls na sa taaf mismo ng lower falls. i was so amazed, kasi ang ganda, kahit nahirapan akong akyatin yun. someone took me some photos. after that, umuwi din kami agad, kasi mahaba ang lalakbayin namin.
sobrang satisfied ako sa ginawa ko ngayong araw. the real adventure, i satisfies me. ito lang kasi ang pinangarap kong gawin noong una ko itong binisita. ang kunan ng picutres and show them to everyone.hehe