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It is not ordinary to have an extraordinary brother

I did not came home for the fiesta because our youngest brother has been invited to join Resources for the Blind Inc.’s annual camp. Along with other visually impaired children and volunteer’s my brother will be far from us for five days for the first time. When brought my bro on the departure area with my tatay, i can see that my brother is still one of the lucky, because he’s got low vision, but others are totally blind. May mga umiyak na nanay, and chil-dren din. Tseb is moody and we worry that he will cry on their camp.
Five days has gone and we will fetch Tseb. When he stepped down the bus, facilita-tors would congratulate us that our bro has gained major awards. Too good for a first timer. From the moment we have him until the end of the day Tseb kept on talking about his experi-ences about the camp.
Sometimes when i met other kids like my brother’s age or younger, i hold them extra careful i tend to carry them than to walk with them because i am used to treat my brother extraordinarily because of his condition, he might have unwanted accidents if not taken care of seriously.


whAT’s holdING me back

nabibilang ko na into days ang mga nalalabing araw na nakatira ako sa bihirang pag-kakataon kasama ang pinsan ko at mga pinsan niya. Kapag meron kang maraming tinitirhan nagkakaroon talaga ng pananabik na bumalik sa dating tinirhan. Parang, kapag nandito ako namimiss ko ang nandoon, pero kapag ako ay nasa nandoon na, namimiss ko naman ang nandito. Magdadalawang buwan din ako sa tinatawag naming bahay sa Quezon City at ilan sa mga mamimiss ko ay ang:

- laging baradong banggerahan. Di ko mawari ang dahilan. Di rin mabilang ang dami ng Liquid Sosa na binuhos upang matanggal ang bara. Ang lababo pa ata ang umubos ng stock ng declogger sa SSG grocery. Iba’-ibang paraan na rin ang ginawa. Pero bigo akong maayos ito hanggang sa araw na ako’y lumisan sa bahay na iyon
- depektibong remote control. Na pinupukpok para gumana. Minsan nakakairita.
- Ang long standing beterano sa predyider namin. Ang candy na apat na buwan ng nandoon, ang mga pasalubong mula sa probinsya na halos apat na buwan na ring nasa loob, ang fish tocino na apat na buwan ding namamahay doon at di maubos ubos, dried fish na ilang buwan na rin pinagpiyestahan ng mga langgam. Ang to-mato paste na halos pitong buwan ng nandoon.
- pusa ni ate Del na taga ubos ng mumog namin.
- Ang ulang paper bag?!? Hehe
- Chilli powder
- Ang kakatuwang pangalan ng isang grupo ng traysikel “PAPATODA”
- Si ate Ellen ang butihing tindera ng mga gulay sa palengke na nagtuturo sa akin kung paano lutuin ang ninanais kong kainin. Kung hindi dahil sa kanya, hindi ko matututunan ang iba’t-ibang paraan ng pagluluto.

At siyempre mamimiss ko ang mga tao sa bahay. Sina Nong Ark at sa kuyang-kuyang treatment, si Jackie-Jackie ang taong kayang hanapan ng kamukha ang kahit sino na makikita sa telebesiyon, at ang paulit-ulit na pagsambit ng mga salita. Si Lucille, na wala akong ibang way na makipagkumyunikeyt sa kanya kung hindi dinaan sa away or argyumentong di kailan-gan.



These are all part of the game- physical, brag, entertaining, pain!

This my first time to play for a fiesta basketball league on our place. Playing for this kind of competition is one of my childhood dreams. I want to play, i want those who bully me when i was a kid know that i can beat them now, that only the weak uses its power over someone. Unfortunately, I did not make it to represent our Barangay for the town fiesta. And while i was still in Quezon City, it was like everyday the coach asked if i could hurry up and come home to secure a place on the basketball league. It is satisfying to know that the team needs me. I did not make it so when i came home days after the fiesta, (hirap uminglish!) habang umiikot-ikot ako sa kung saan-saan ang approach lagi sa akin ay kung bakit ngayon lang daw ako umuwi, sayang dapat pasok pa kami sa championship or what. It is flattering to hear those comments from other people because i can feel my importance, which is rare.
But i made it to join a little league composed only of our barangay’s residence. For two years, our team did not make it to the semi finals. Worst was last year when the team did not won any game. I was not around to play that time kaya damang dama ang presence ko this season. Dahil we made it through the semi-finals. Mayabang ako eh, but i did not do all the job, we are one team, and we did our best to win. Habang naglalaro ako, the live game commentator always said na sayang daw ako, dapat nandito ako nung past game every-time i made some points. I just smiled dahil compliment yun for me.
Okay, nakapasok na kami sa semi-finals, just a game won, we will be playing for the finals. We defeated all the teams except for one team that is the strongest. One of the amaz-ing plays was with the police team. Yes, we played with the police. I sometimes joked them asking how does it feels being whistled for their violations instead of the other way around. The police just laughed and defeated.
But, not all great nice things lasts long. Wala pa sa kalahati ang first game of the semi finals when i get elbowed on my left eye. I stopped playing, I held unto my eye then when i looked at my palm, i said that this is not good when i saw blood. Nakakabastos lang, dahil the game still contoinued. Pumunta ako sa sa bench and my teammates looked at my eye, the referee, my little brother. When, i looked it through the mirror and realized that i must be out of the game, i washed it, and went to go to a clinic. Akala ko kakayanin pa ng band aid ang cut but it was deep and wide open so dapat tahiin. The doctor stitched it twice. Keeping me assured that it will reduce the scars I might get. Especially i am a keloid former. The doctor was a friend so he charged nothing to me except for the thread used to stitch. Alam ko na takot ang tatay ko sa karayom and tahi, but he was with me when i was treated. I realized na hindi naman pala masakit ang tahiin. I only hope that it will not make a huge mark on my face.
It is all part of the game. Sabi nila nung nasiko ako ni Tomas sa mata, the stitch was okay for me, but the black eye is humiliating. I kept on accepting that this is just a part of the game. But when i recall some of the games we played, he was never good at this sport, mainitin ang ulo and i feel that i am intimidating him dahil magkasing laki lang kami. I accept that this is part of a game, but what draws my anger out is that this is how he plays his game. Then hindi na maganda yun. But i will never avenge my vulnerability, dahil talo pa din ako.
The final part was that, natalo kami and they won, because i was out of the game. Naks. Yabang ko.

And i would like to thank the following persons and institutions for their contributions:

- mga kapatid ko na sina Parod and Ilku for refilling my water bottle when i am rehydrating, buying me chocolates and running errands for me.
- sa asawa ni Neil na head ng team namin, for preparing a series of merienda after every victorious play. Sa sopas, sa caldo, tinapay at juice
- sa mga nagdonate ng moral, financial and expertise for the game.
- kay Jawok sa pagpapahiram ng kanyang high cut rubber shoes.
- sa bagong CR ng simbahan lalo na kapag napasobra ako sa tubig
- kay tatay ko sa pagpapahiram ng kanyang oversize shirts.
- kay tsokolate sa inspirasyon, pag-aalala, lucky charm sa reminders na laging mag ingat.
- sa AFS foundation sa kanilang free towels para pamunas sa pawisan kong mukha.
- kay Doctor Tugon, sa nurse at sa volunteer nurse sa libreng serbisyo noong nasiko ako.
- sa bike na galing Japan na parang anime na ginagamit ko para maehersisyo ang aking binti.
- at sa mga fans!!! Wala kami kung wala kayo, at wala kayo kung wala kami.