lolo bes

It’s been a while since the last entry. I thought I could update this blog at least thrice a week but i just could not. But there are reasons why, and I thought about this quite some time if I have to put an entry about it. So far it is the reason that this made this blog idle. But i have to tell this to you, because it is like a turning point in my life's story.

My lolo passed away. 28 days after he told me that life and death is now playing in his mind. He told me that he does not want to sleep because he might die. That if he thinks that he'll die it would happen, that's why he always thinks that he'll stay alive the next day. I just told him that if he thinks that death is in his thoughts, he must get rid of it and start doing things he wants most before it's too late. i don't really think he's seriously ill because I’ve know him as too young, too strong, too alert, too healthy for his age (91 years old). That talk lasted an hour or a bit more.

4 days after i left him for while in the hospital to get some things at home. And an hour after i bit my lip and bleeded.

he's like my first patient in my profession that is why it is the hardest. I can say that the patient a nurse don't want to take care of is one of his own family member especially in a very critical state. You know everything, that even the explanation of a doctor is not convincing to calm you down.

So if Arden rod has an entry for him, i also have one for our lolo.

To lolo, after you left I started to hate myself because I can count the memorable days that we had. all I can remember is that i hug you during siesta so that I could feel that you have awaken up and would go somewhere to play mahjong or go farming. That I always have boxes of cheese when you come home every weekend from your work other place. Kahit hindi tayo masyadong naging malapit in anyways you are still my lolo.

My lolo also explained to me that one reason why the Americans do not passed the Veterans Equity bill yet is because of the Filipinos also. That some guerillas that time were asked to fill up the form to be filed for U.S Army, sold some of the forms to non-guerillas because of the expected benefits. When given to the Americans they were surprised how did the list got too many guerillas. And one of the opportunists that time has his descendants doing the same until now. Corrupt, bragging their power and properties that came from their overpowering and plunder. Who would have thought that a 90-year old can still ride a tricycle and go to church, to market, or to look for a mahjong game? that can read the marquee's in television without reading glasses. Sometimes I envy him because he had done a lot of things...like:

-fishing on laguna de bay
-teaching reproductive health to communities in his time, it is very hard to become an effective teacher.
-going back to ilo-ilo from manila three days before leaving for New York just to see his girlfriend.
-California to New York by train?
-naabutan pa ang UP manila?
-putting js prom in our school (thank you!)
-have his birth certificate for civil service changed his age 5 years younger?


I have little memories from you lolo, but I am so proud of you. remember the time you told me that before you were somebody but now you are nobody? Your worth is unthinkable. And I cannot believe that I cried a lot for him unlike to lola. But I realized when I asked myself why is that I cried, it is because everyone is crying. I cried because I hate my own father because I thought he was rock hearted. That when I saw him cry, I felt happiness because finally he had forgave his father. He does not listen to us and to me when we talk about reconciling kahit kay lolo lang, but he did not. I know my father and if is reluctant about this kind of topic, it is very hard for him inside. So I cried a lot for my father who let it out finally.

Lolo, don’t worry, in failures and success of my parents and brothers, you are always a part of us. I promise to fulfill your will ever since, to clean the politicians corruption and restore order in governance in our locality, and spread the ever growing family tree.i know that 5 of us siblings are the ones who will only carry our last name. Hehe (but seriously, i will)